News in rhyme
Notre Dame linebacker caught in a lie
Te'o and the Ghost (to the tune of Beauty and the Beast)
Tale as old as time
True, as it can be
But probably a lie
A linebacker in need of love
A woman on the coast
One tackles blokes
The other is a hoax
Te'o and the Ghost
But then from above
God called the girl home
At least that's what Te'o said
That his dear love was dead
On air to Jim Rome
Tale as old as time
A man falls for hoax
True, as it can be
But probably a lie
Te'o and the Ghost
Manti Te'o's deceased girlfriend was revealed to be a fraud this weekend. The Notre Dame linebacker claimed he was victim of a hoax, though many believed he invented the girlfriend, her battle with Leukemia and the inspiration it caused him this football season.
Obama presents gun control legislation
Obama announced that he thinks ammunition rounds should be small
And that gun show rules would have to go through a strict overhaul
And that no one should be able to use assault weapons
The NRA sees these policies as a veritable Armageddon
And they feel a great deal of resentment
About what they see as an attack on the 2nd amendment
Obama says he is willing to fight
But chances of him passing anything in this congress are slight.
President Barack Obama unveiled a combination of legislation and executive orders for gun control this Wednesday in the wake of the Newton Massacre in Connecticut last December. The NRA has vowed to fight the proposals.
More from The Rice Thresher

Rice announces Chao College as 12th residential college
Rice announced that the 12th residential college will be named Ting Tsung and Wei Fong Chao College Aug. 19. The college, set to open in fall 2026, will contain nearly 300 on-campus beds.
Dining access fund announced following on-campus unlimited meal swipes
Rice announced new food assistance programs on Tuesday to account for the controversial change in the on-campus meal swipe plan.

Rice disaster prediction model discussed at hearing on deadly Central Texas floods
The House and Senate Select Committees on Disaster Preparedness and Flooding held a hearing on July 31 in Kerrville to address the deadly July 4 flooding in Central Texas. The flooding along the banks of the Guadalupe River killed 108 people, including 37 children. In the charged hearing, Texas lawmakers and flood survivors criticized the local response to the disaster.
Please note All comments are eligible for publication by The Rice Thresher.