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News in rhyme

By Anthony Lauriello     1/16/13 6:00pm


Notre Dame linebacker caught in a lie

Te'o and the Ghost (to the tune of Beauty and the Beast)

Tale as old as time

True, as it can be

But probably a lie 

A linebacker in need of love

A woman on the coast

One tackles blokes

The other is a hoax

Te'o and the Ghost 

But then from above

God called the girl home

At least that's what Te'o said

That his dear love was dead

On air to Jim Rome 

Tale as old as time

A man falls for hoax

True, as it can be

But probably a lie

Te'o and the Ghost

Manti Te'o's deceased girlfriend was revealed to be a fraud this weekend. The Notre Dame linebacker claimed he was victim of a hoax, though many believed he invented the girlfriend, her battle with Leukemia and the inspiration it caused him this football season.

Obama presents gun control legislation

Obama announced that he thinks ammunition rounds should be small

And that gun show rules would have to go through a strict overhaul

And that no one should be able to use assault weapons

The NRA sees these policies as a veritable Armageddon

And they feel a great deal of resentment

About what they see as an attack on the 2nd amendment

Obama says he is willing to fight

But chances of him passing anything in this congress are slight.

President Barack Obama unveiled a combination of legislation and executive orders for gun control this Wednesday in the wake of the Newton Massacre in Connecticut last December. The NRA has vowed to fight the proposals.

More from The Rice Thresher

NEWS 5/19/24 8:57pm
Jones School breaks ground on new expansion, final project to wrap up spring 2026

The Jones Graduate School of Business will expand its building, constructing an additional 95,000 square feet around McNair Hall. Rice Business announced blueprint plans for the new $54.5 million building at its groundbreaking May 9. The new building will include multiple large classrooms, lecture halls, dining facilities, event spaces and communal areas, designed to “blend seamlessly with the campus and its surroundings.”

NEWS 5/19/24 8:45pm
Audrey’s closes in advance of Jones School expansion

After four years of operation in McNair Hall, Audrey’s closed May 10 prior to the Jones Graduate School of Business expansion. The original Audrey’s space will be cleaved by a wall during construction, Niken Prabanto, co-owner of Greenway Coffee Company, which oversees Audrey’s, said. 


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