Rice University’s Student Newspaper — Since 1916

Saturday, June 15, 2024 — Houston, TX

News In Rhyme

By Anthony Lauriello     11/9/11 6:00pm

International

Berlusconi offers resignation

Silvio Berlusconi survived many a lewd sex scandal and allegation



But alas he could not wither the debt crisis hitting the Euro nations

So to make sure creditors could trust the Italian government

And that he would not be the one to prevent the money from being lent

Good old Berlusconi who refused to surrender decided to offer to step down

And so Italy will lose its bellicose prime minister who recently became a clown

Silvio Berlusconi offered to resign in order to secure any potential bailout of Italy whose high debts are beginning to undermine its credit.

 

National

Rick Perry Forgetful

There once was a man named Rick Perry

Who during the debates was never merry

He wanted to cut government agencies

But he couldn't remember which three

And his embarrassing gaffe was in public for all to see

In Wednesday night's Residential Republican debate, Rick Perry said there were three government agencies he wanted to cut, but could not think of the third one. This embarrassment was just another in a slew of blunders threatening the viability of his presidential bid.

Annise Parker wins reelection

Annise Parker won her election for mayor of our town

But her margin of victory was deserving of pity

The Rice grad barely won more than half the vote

Against opposition of barely any note

But winning is winning as they say

And for two more years Parker is here to stay

Annise Parker won the mayoral election, but only by 51 percent, far lower then would be expected considering her incumbency and the lack of any strong opposition



More from The Rice Thresher

NEWS 6/5/24 7:37pm
NOD permanently canceled, Rice strips away-decades old campus tradition

After 50 years of decadence, Wiess College’s infamous underwear party is no more.  Born in the early 1970s after a group of Wiess students poured all their alcohol into a bathtub — creating a brew “so potent it removed the varnish” — Night of Decadence has spent years in the national eye. Allegedly recognized as one of Playboy’s top college parties in the nation, NOD has also been subject to mounting scrutiny over alcohol use and an “explicitly dangerous and sexual atmosphere.” Rice has now permanently canceled the public, Dean of Undergraduates Bridget Gorman and Wiess magister Flavio Cunha announced in a message to campus June 5.

NEWS 5/24/24 11:48am
Rice Mutual Aid partners with student organizations to fundraise for Gaza

Rice Mutual Aid launched a fundraising campaign for Gaza on May 13 in partnership with 15 other student organizations at Rice, including Rice Students for Justice in Palestine, Rice Pride, the Hispanic Association for Cultural Enrichment at Rice and the Rice Muslim Student Association. RMA will direct donations towards American Near East Refugee Aid, a non-governmental organization that provides humanitarian aid and emergency relief in Palestine, Lebanon and Jordan. A day after its launch, the campaign raised over $2,000 according to RMA’s Instagram.


Comments

Please note All comments are eligible for publication by The Rice Thresher.