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Thursday, September 28, 2023 — Houston, TX

News In Rhyme

By Anthony Lauriello     11/9/11 6:00pm


Berlusconi offers resignation

Silvio Berlusconi survived many a lewd sex scandal and allegation

But alas he could not wither the debt crisis hitting the Euro nations

So to make sure creditors could trust the Italian government

And that he would not be the one to prevent the money from being lent

Good old Berlusconi who refused to surrender decided to offer to step down

And so Italy will lose its bellicose prime minister who recently became a clown

Silvio Berlusconi offered to resign in order to secure any potential bailout of Italy whose high debts are beginning to undermine its credit.



Rick Perry Forgetful

There once was a man named Rick Perry

Who during the debates was never merry

He wanted to cut government agencies

But he couldn't remember which three

And his embarrassing gaffe was in public for all to see

In Wednesday night's Residential Republican debate, Rick Perry said there were three government agencies he wanted to cut, but could not think of the third one. This embarrassment was just another in a slew of blunders threatening the viability of his presidential bid.

Annise Parker wins reelection

Annise Parker won her election for mayor of our town

But her margin of victory was deserving of pity

The Rice grad barely won more than half the vote

Against opposition of barely any note

But winning is winning as they say

And for two more years Parker is here to stay

Annise Parker won the mayoral election, but only by 51 percent, far lower then would be expected considering her incumbency and the lack of any strong opposition

More from The Rice Thresher

NEWS 9/27/23 12:28am
Rice Pride ends partnership with Houston Hillel

Rice Pride ended its partnership with Houston Hillel, a Jewish campus ministry at Rice, on Sept. 18. Pride’s latest statement on the decision says that the organization will no longer “receive funding or co-create spaces with Houston Hillel” and cited concerns by Palestinian and Arab students who did not feel comfortable engaging in Pride due to the partnership.

NEWS 9/26/23 11:39pm
Rice’s Academic Resources Center creates a new ARC for tutoring

Rice announced a plan to establish an Academic Resources Center staffed by trained professionals in an email to academic fellows on Sept. 20. Led by Senior Associate Provost Matt Taylor and Dean of Undergraduates Bridget Gorman, this multi-year plan will begin with the development of a paid peer tutoring and teaching assistant program.


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