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Wednesday, April 24, 2024 — Houston, TX

News In Rhyme

By Anthony Lauriello     11/9/11 6:00pm

International

Berlusconi offers resignation

Silvio Berlusconi survived many a lewd sex scandal and allegation



But alas he could not wither the debt crisis hitting the Euro nations

So to make sure creditors could trust the Italian government

And that he would not be the one to prevent the money from being lent

Good old Berlusconi who refused to surrender decided to offer to step down

And so Italy will lose its bellicose prime minister who recently became a clown

Silvio Berlusconi offered to resign in order to secure any potential bailout of Italy whose high debts are beginning to undermine its credit.

 

National

Rick Perry Forgetful

There once was a man named Rick Perry

Who during the debates was never merry

He wanted to cut government agencies

But he couldn't remember which three

And his embarrassing gaffe was in public for all to see

In Wednesday night's Residential Republican debate, Rick Perry said there were three government agencies he wanted to cut, but could not think of the third one. This embarrassment was just another in a slew of blunders threatening the viability of his presidential bid.

Annise Parker wins reelection

Annise Parker won her election for mayor of our town

But her margin of victory was deserving of pity

The Rice grad barely won more than half the vote

Against opposition of barely any note

But winning is winning as they say

And for two more years Parker is here to stay

Annise Parker won the mayoral election, but only by 51 percent, far lower then would be expected considering her incumbency and the lack of any strong opposition



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Jeremy Zucker headlines second-ever Moody X-Fest

Jeremy Zucker headlined Rice’s second annual Moody X-Fest in Founder’s Court on April 19. In advance of Zucker’s set, student groups like Basmati Beats, Rice Philharmonic and BASYK performed. The festival also offered complimentary merchandise and food from Dripped Birra, Cane’s and Oh my Gogi.

NEWS 4/17/24 5:23pm
Jones wins men’s and women’s Beer Bike races, GSA snags alumni

Jones College won both the women’s and men’s Beer Bike 2024 races, while the Graduate Student Association claimed the alumni team win. Hanszen College bike teams were the runner-up in the alumni and men’s races, while Brown College was the runner-up in the women’s race. Martel and McMurtry Colleges did not bike in the alumni race, according to the Rice Program Council’s final report, and the GSA was disqualified from the men’s race for accidentally sending out two bikers simultaneously.


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