News In Rhyme
National
Hurricane Irene hits near NYC
There was once a storm named Irene
Who got tired of the south Atlantic scene
So she went to the East coast
Destroyed New York almost
But not with the destruction foreseen
Hurricane Irene hit the East Coast and New York City forcing evacuations and causing massive flooding through the region. Despite several deaths and perhaps billions in damages, the storm didn't live up to some expectations, especially those of the mainstream media.
Obama calls joint session
Obama called for a joint session of Congress
But the Republicans see it as one big diss
So Boehner said change the day
And Obama let him have his say
And the president looks even more spineless
President Obama requested the legislative leadership for a joint session of Congress. However, the speech conflicted with a debate for the Republican Primary. Citing procedural and logistical reasons, Speaker of the House John Boehner denied the president's request and forced him to delay it one day.
International
Exxon drills oil in Russia
Russia let Exxon go to the Arctic to drill
But crude oil they better not spill
Cause if they go Exxon Valdez
Bring the habitat to its knees
A lot of wildlife it will kill.
The Russian government has granted American corporation Exxon Mobil permission to explore the Russian Arctic for a potentially vast reserve of oil. Despite the company's victory, not everyone is happy, as environmental groups point to the chance of an economic catastrophe.
More from The Rice Thresher

Michigan professor Amy Dittmar named Rice’s next provost
Amy Dittmar, the senior vice provost for academic and budgetary affairs and a professor of economics and finance at the University of Michigan, has been selected as Rice’s new provost, incoming president Reginald DesRoches announced Thursday. DesRoches, the current provost, will become Rice’s president on July 1, and Dittmar will start August 1.

Commencement returns to the stadium for Class of 2022
The 109th Convocation ceremony was held in person this past Friday night, with no restrictions on attendance. Hundreds of class of 2022 Rice undergraduates passed under the Sallyport before meeting at Rice football stadium for the ceremony.

SA drafts formal complaint against Chi Alpha after discrimination accusations
The Student Association executive board drafted a formal complaint against the Chi Alpha Christian Fellowship to present to University Court for violation of the SA Constitution nondiscrimination policy that every Rice organization is required to adhere to. This complaint comes in light of the recently published Thresher article, where several students shared their experience with discrimation within the club on the basis of sexual orientation.
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