Rice University’s Student Newspaper — Since 1916

Wednesday, July 17, 2019 — Houston, TX 92°

News In Rhyme

By Anthony Lauriello     10/27/11 7:00pm


Herman Cain proposes tax plan

There once was man named Herman Cain

And he offered a tax plan most plain

Calling it nine, nine, nine

Some thought it was fine

But experts met it with disdain

There was another man named Perry

And of Cain's plan he was weary

So he made up his own

And it would require a loan

Without spending cuts most scary

Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain surged ahead in the polls. According to reports from some agencies, Cain has taken the front-runner position.

His main platform—the 9-9-9 plan—composed of a nine percent national income tax, nine percent corporate tax and 9 percent national sales tax has receive considerable media attention.

The fact that no trained economist helped draft the plan has led to considerable derision, especially from those on the left, but Cain's popularity remains high for now.

To counter, Rick Perry offered his own plan with a 20% flat tax that taxpayers could voluntarily opt into and a 20% corporate tax.

Since this plan would drastically reduce government revenue, it also comes with drastic spending cuts, including those to entitlement programs.



The Euro Zone crisis in nursery rhymes

Ring around the continent

A pocketful of Euros

"Debt, Debt"

We all fall down!

Hey diddle diddle

Europe has a riddle

The South has debt higher than the moon

The North is tired of paying

And the banks need to be bailed out real soon

The country of Greece sat on a wall

The entire economy had a great fall

All the German monies, And all the French banks

Couldn't put Greece together again!

European countries are continuing to try to stave off the debt crisis this time, convincing banks to accept fifty percent losses on their loans to debt-riddled countries. Investors hope that this will finally help alleviate dangers of the Euro failing.

More from The Rice Thresher

NEWS 7/3/19 1:46pm
Paul Otremba, assistant professor in creative writing and widely published poet, passes at 40

 “He loved to cook, was an excellent chef and often invited whole gaggles of us over to his apartment, working in the kitchen and talking poetry to whoever was nearby while others lounged by the pool,” Johnson wrote. “When I joined the faculty at Rice, he showed me the way, provided an atlas, a compass through the morass of elite academia, and after the presidential election that first semester, often talked me off the proverbial ledge of rage or despair.” 

NEWS 7/1/19 10:23am
McNair Hall to open new coffee shop in the fall

A new coffee shop on the first floor of McNair Hall is projected to open for business this September, according to Peter Rodriguez, dean of the Jesse H. Jones Graduate School of Business. According to Rodriguez, several external vendors are currently competing for a contract. Whichever vendor is selected will choose the baristas who will staff the coffee shop and the types of coffee and food offered, Rodriguez said.

NEWS 6/14/19 12:15pm
Administration calls for task force to address racial justice, university history

A task force on slavery, segregation and racial injustice has been established by the university, according to an email sent by President David Leebron and Provost Marie Lynn Miranda. In the email, sent out on Tuesday, Leebron said that the task force was created to learn about instances of racial injustice in Rice’s past and examine ways to promote diversity and inclusion in its future.


Please note All comments are eligible for publication by The Rice Thresher.