Take time to appreciate what really matters in life
The day before my 21st birthday was two days before classes started. It was also the day I learned my dad had cancer.The prognosis was brutal. At such a late stage of development, my dad's tumor was inoperable. Moreover, given his weakened state and the aggressive nature of his cancer, chemotherapy was not practical. In other words, my dad was dying.I cried so much in the following weeks that I thought my tear ducts were broken. The selfish part of me was angry that this was happening in my senior year, what should have been the best time of my undergraduate life. The supposed joys of turning 21 never felt more like a lie.What began initially as my dad's battle against cancer became my entire family's war. It was devastating to see my mom and brother cry. I hated that I dreaded receiving calls from them, afraid of the latest update on my dad's condition. More than anything, it hurt to realize that in my last year of college, my own father would not make it to my graduation. I decided to stay in school for several reasons; in some ways, doing so preserved a sense of normalcy. On the surface, I was generally OK. But sometimes it would hit - so hard and so inexplicably. It was difficult to accept that life was still happening, that the usual school and work routine continued - with the exception that my weekends came to include visits home or to the hospital. After my dad was moved to the Houston Hospice, an end-of-life care facility, visits to the hospice began to punctuate my week. I felt like I was watching him die.On Oct. 7, barely six weeks after his diagnosis, my dad passed away. No amount of mental preparation could ever fully ready me for his loss, but I found comfort at least knowing that his pain was finally over. In sharing my family's hardships, I do not intend to elicit pity or attention. I want to instead pass on the insight such a situation has elucidated. Every upperclassman has advice to share with new students, and this is mine. Be kind and reach out to others. The college experience is more than a GPA or scoring the perfect internship. The genuine moments of understanding and the relationships shared with people of both similar and different backgrounds are just as significant - if not more.As busy and hard-working Rice students, it is easy to prioritize academics and take for granted the wealth of interpersonal relationships around us. It is easy to miss out on meaningful interaction for the sake of focusing on the immediate, an upcoming test or major assignment due next week. That is not to say that academic excellence should be neglected. Rather, it is important to take a break and recognize the social aspect of college as more than parties and networking. Kindness transcends boundaries; it is the first step to investing in a deeper and more meaningful friendship. Perhaps this investment does not mean much for a resume, but its worth far outweighs the surface-level connections we do not so often actively seek to breach. So look at your friends and classmates; ask genuinely how they are doing. It can make all the difference in brightening someone's day.I am infinitely grateful for all the support I have received this past fall, in what has been the hardest time of my life. From Orientation Week and alternative spring break connections to my college masters and professors to my closest friends, coping with my dad's illness would have been a thousand times more difficult without their sincerity and concern. For checking in on me, for comfort food, for crying with me, for listening. Even those who did not know about my father's situation were there for me. Whether through a simple gesture or word, I found incredible solace in everyday kindness. These small things encouraged me to stay positive in spite of the grief when I felt utterly lost and overwhelmed.This spring, I will leave Rice having endured some of the worst times of my life and also having enjoyed some of the best. I thank all those who have made such an experience what it was. My dad would have been happy to see me surrounded by such loving individuals, to know that I am in the comfort of such a warm community. May he rest in peace. Joyce Chou is a Hanszen College senior.