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(09/19/08 12:00am)
Why . oh, good lord, why? What concoction of drugs and alcohol spurred me to watch this god-forsaken crapshoot of a movie? Alas, pre-Ike weekend was another long and sad one for the movies. Butt-crust cinema appears to be in full force, with Bangkok Dangerous claiming the number one spot at the box office. The new Nicolas Cage flick debuted with an opening total of $7.8 million, just barely beating out Tropic Thunder's total of $7.5 million. To put that into perspective, this was the worst weekend box office total in five years! In my opinion, the only thing worse than a movie starring Nicolas Cage is an action movie starring Nicolas Cage. He's only made one awesome movie in the action genre (The Rock), and since then, he has disappointed time and time again (Next, Gone in 60 Seconds and Ghost Rider come vividly to mind). Needless to say, my expectations were incredibly low when I entered the empty theater.
(09/05/08 12:00am)
The problem with Hollywood is that it's seasonal. Year after year, the summer season sizzles the box office with action flicks that titillate the eye, but not the heart (The Dark Knight is a lone exception). In the winter, movie executives release emotional dramas that make the audience weep and help the Oscar committee hand out golden statues. But what about the fall and spring? These periods are what I like to call the "butt crust" season, marked by all the movies that are bound for the $5 DVD aisle at Wal-Mart. These flicks feature actors who frequently appear on Lifetime, reveal their entire plots in one-minute trailers and cast Vin Diesel in the starring role.Unfortunately, we are currently knee-deep in these movies. Rather than fork over $10 for the horrific opportunity to sit through two hours of Anna Faris (Scary Movie series) in House Bunny or Vin Diesel in Babylon A.D. (a total rip-off of the stellar The Fifth Element), I have decided to preview of my top seven most anticipated films for the upcoming year.
(08/29/08 12:00am)
Just a few years ago, the comedic stage belonged to the super-duo of director Adam Mackay (Anchorman) and chubby funnyman Will Ferrell (Talladega Nights). Since then, they have had to make way for the hilarious antics of Seth Rogen (Knocked Up), another fat white guy, and director-producer extraordinaire Judd Apatow (Step Brothers), yet another out-of-shape white guy. Hmm, I wonder why the target audience for this genre is so huge.
(08/22/08 12:00am)
A sociopathic clown. A drunken billionaire adorned in titanium alloy. Construction workers committing suicide. Sounds like the plot of a really hot porno, doesn't it? If you didn't recognize them, those were just a few of the numerous highlights that dominated the box office this memorable movie season. Every summer, Hollywood churns out a slew of mega-blockbusters full of glitzy special effects, mind-numbing explosions and gunfights. This past summer was no exception.The 2008 summer box office was ruled by superheroes: Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Hell Boy II, Hancock and, my personal favorite, The Dark Knight. As an obsessive-compulsive movie-watcher, I had several amazing - and not so pleasant (Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2) - cinematic experiences. So let's get started .
