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Monday, May 27, 2024 — Houston, TX

Different ways to get kicked off campus

Guillian Paguila / Thresher

By Kristal Hanson     3/5/24 10:06pm

Housing Jack, Eligibility Jack, Room Jack or The Bump — every college has its own lingo for the same daunting event of deciding which students get to live on campus the following school year. 

Perhaps more importantly, each college also has its own method of determining who is part of this fortunate group. With varying rules and point systems using everything from ping-pong balls to pints of ice cream, the housing process inevitably produces entertaining delivery methods for the final blow of getting jacked off campus. 

The Wheel of Doom

This wheel is analogous to the spinning wheel of death for your loading browser: colorful, virtual and prolonging an already painstaking process. Duncan College and Sid Richardson College subscribe to this method, projecting an online spinner bearing the names of students wishing to live on campus in their commons. One unlucky individual must then spin the wheel over and over until all beds are assigned. If the all-powerful wheel chooses you at Sid, you can live on campus. If you are chosen by the wheel at Duncan, you’re out.

The Group Jack

Getting jacked off is more fun with company. Brown, Wiess, Martel, Hanszen and Lovett Colleges allow students the option of entering eligibility jack in pairs. At Jones, Will Rice, Baker and McMurtry Colleges, students fly solo. Duncan allows “buckets,” where students can enter in a group and give it a fun name to watch spin on the wheel. At Sid, students must find a partner with whom to enter the jack process or they are automatically off-campus.

The Ice Cream Consolation

Nothing says “sorry, you have to pay rent in Houston” like a pint of ice cream. This year, Brown purchased pints to give to off-campus students and ended up having enough for everyone at Eligibility Jack who wanted ice cream. Sid also sweetens the process. Each pair gets a pint with a number corresponding to their assigned slice of The Wheel.

The Deck of Cards

At Will Rice, it’s all about luck of the draw. Students pull from a deck of cards numbered one through the total number of participants in Eligibility Jack. Smaller numbers stay on and bigger numbers are kicked.

The Randomization Software

This method is a virtual randomizer like The Wheel, but delivers a single decision with its instantaneous results. Lovett, Hanszen, Jones and Brown use a spreadsheet. McMurtry uses a software called “Shuffle,” while Baker uses a random number generator corresponding to a spreadsheet of names. 

The Race

Following a process that is eerily similar to securing a ticket to a public, Martel announces ahead of time when students will receive the eligibility jack form in their inboxes. Once sent out, students race to fill out the form since the waitlist is ordered by who presses submit first. If you’re too slow, instead of being the only person in your friend group to not go to a party, you’re the one stuck living off-campus. 

The Almost-Pong Game

Incoming sophomores who want to live on-campus at Wiess must participate in a giant game of almost-pong. Cups are laid out in commons, each containing the name of one freshman. A “housing apprentice” throws the first ping pong ball and the person whose cup it lands in is the first freshman kicked, lowest on the waitlist and next up to bat. This freshman shoots their ball, which lands in the cup of the next freshman who is one place up on the waitlist and next to play until every freshman’s fate is sealed. 

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