Online only: The Thresher presents advice from a non-professional

By Staff Editorial     8/27/09 7:00pm

In theThresher's first advice endeavor in years, Denver Greene, a Brown College senior, will attempt to answer your questions and quandaries, both Rice-specific and otherwise.Dear Denver,

What kinds of questions would you like us to ask?

- Questioning Questions

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Dear Questioning Questions,

I want you to ask me any questions you can think of. Relationships, careers, problems with friends, how to garden, tips on riding a bike: Anything that you could possibly have a question about is good here. "What is the best way to raise chrysanthemums in my dorm room?" I'll look the answer up and figure out what might work. "My friend is annoying me by doing [fill in here]. What should I do?" I'll give you advice based on what I think. It is totally up to you if you follow it or not. "What extreme sport do you recommend doing this summer?" "What is the proper technique to varnish my furniture, and what if the carpet doesn't match the drapes?" "What should I do if I want to change majors?" "Where have all the flowers gone?" Any of these questions and much, much more you should ask. Be creative. Or be boring, and I might spice it up a bit. I am counting on you!

Dear Denver,

How can I submit questions? Can I do so anonymously?

- No Need for Name

Dear No Need for Name,

I'm glad you asked that. There are two ways you can submit questions. First you can send any questions to me via email atdenver@rice.edu. The problem with this is I might be able to tell who you are based on your email address. If you want to submit questions anonymously send one tothresher@rice.eduand my editor will forward them along to me. I will have no idea who sent them. You can also try signing it with something clever, as you will see later in this column.

Dear Denver,

I haven't had a chance to shower recently, and the people around me have started to complain. I'm having a hard time deciding whether I should sacrifice my GPA or my social life. What should I do?

- Smelly and Sorry

Dear Smelly and Sorry,

While it is nice to have a high GPA, you must still have good personal hygiene. Unless you want to work in a sewer it will be a bit difficult getting a job smelling like a cow. One of the greatest assets to leading a successful life is having a strong social network - Facebook doesn't count - but that will be nearly impossible to attain when people can't stand next to you without feeling the need to vomit.

After all, in 20 years, when you look back at what happened in college, are you going to remember what you learned in orgo that one night, or are you going to remember staying up way too late just hanging out with friends and having a good time? Now finish reading the paper, ask me another question and go take a shower.

Dear Denver,

My roommate always has his/her friends over really late at night. They don't even attempt to keep their voices down when they know that I'm trying to get some sleep. How do I confront my roommate about?this without seeming like a party pooper

- Torn and Tired

Dear Torn and Tired,

There are several ways you can go about this problem. Rather than just screaming at your roommate until you are both attacking each other, I suggest you talk things out. Sit down with your roommate and let him/her know you need your sleep. There are plenty of other places for them to hang out on a college campus. It is really important that you sit down and talk because some people just don't think about things like courtesy, and some people don't realize how loud their voices actually are.

I would not recommend leaving a note or sending an email because those can often be taken in a much harsher tone than originally intended. Blunt honesty works best in this situation, and if that still doesn't work, talk to your masters; they should be willing to help with a solution. If your roommate really sucks then you can always get a new one next year or semester. Or, you know, not shower for a while, and see if the stench forces them elsewhere.

Denver is not a professional and is not responsible for anything stupid that you do. Please submit questions by going tothresher@rice.edu.

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