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Ask the Thresher

Published: Thursday, April 5, 2012

Updated: Thursday, April 5, 2012 18:04

Dear Thresher,

I read in “Cosmo” that 62 percent of men would be willing to have period sex. I’m interested but skeptical, especially about how my boyfriend would feel .... Should I try it?

From,

Living on the Edge

 When I first read this question, I was immensely disgusted. Naturally, I turned to the Bible for help. While it is true that Moses parted the Red Sea, this is in no way a thumbs up from the Holy Book. In fact, those celebrating Passover next week will remember that turning the rivers into blood was a horrible plague designed to punish the Egyptians. From what I can tell, none of the Pharaoh’s people used the opportunity to get it on in the churning river of red blood cells. A quick search through Leviticus further reveals that while the Bible has many bloodbaths, you shouldn’t have one in bed. In fact, the Bible states: “You shall not approach a woman to uncover her nakedness as long as she is in her customary impurity” (Leviticus 18:19). Now, that does come from Leviticus, generally known by Biblical scholars to be the least fun part of the Bible, filled with many archaic rules, such as those concerning stoning and slaves that have long since been abandoned. However, I think this passage is meaningful for those who don’t believe in the literal word of God (obviously you do not, unless you and your partner are married) for the theological reason that period sex is really, really gross.

You may respond to that with the fact that “Cosmo” says 62 percent of men say it’s okay to wade in during “shark week”. I want to remind you that 100 percent of men asked in this “Cosmo” survey are okay taking surveys by Cosmo about menstrual sex. You don’t need to have taken Stat 280 to realize that might not be a representative sample of the entire male population. In fact, I am highly doubtful that almost two-thirds of men will want to recreate Daniel Day Lewis’ Oscar winning performance in “There Will Be Blood”. It is my prediction that 90 percent of men’s stomachs will react to the idea of period sex like they were going through horrible turbulence after eating airplane food. My recommendation is to ask your boyfriend what he feels. If he is up for the idea, tell that pervert to go jump in a lake, preferably one filled with blood.

-Ares

 I’m again going to return to my now very repetitive mantra: Communication is key. It really doesn’t matter whether 62 percent of men polled by Cosmo are willing to try period sex or not – what matters is whether you and your partner both feel comfortable with the concept. If you have discussed the issues that may arise, then it is totally within your right to have period sex and to enjoy it. However, there are also some things you should be aware of before you engage in this admittedly somewhat controversial experience.

First of all, despite many common misconceptions, you can get pregnant while on your period. It is generally easiest to get pregnant around the time you’re ovulating, which in the middle of your menstrual cycle, but you can actually get pregnant at any time while having unprotected sex. So, if by chance you are choosing to have period sex rather than more conventional sex in an attempt to avoid pregnancy, you definitely should not count period sex as a form of birth control. Furthermore, as your cervix is more open during your period, you can be at higher risk for cervical infections or HIV, so safety should always be your first concern, and protection is a must.

Second of all, there is a problem concerning the mess that could result from having period sex. Some women have reported elevated feelings and enjoying sex more while on their periods, but period sex can also result in some sticky situations. A decent consideration is also where you are in your cycle. If you have a really heavy flow and a wide-set vagina, then you should probably wait until you’re a few days into your period to give period sex a try. That way, you can avoid at least some of the mess that can result from having period sex. However, there are also other ways to minimize the mess during period sex. Shower sex is always an option – the clean up is essentially built into the situation (unless, of course, you’re in the floor-flooding showers in McMurtry). However, another consideration is the position you choose; if the girl is on the bottom and the guy on the top, old-fashioned gravity will minimize messy situations. Putting down towels is another option, but it definitely detracts from romance. To avoid the mess, you can also insert a menstrual cup or a cervical cap to prevent vaginal secretions, but if you’re just trying out period sex, you might want to avoid inserting something new into your body.

In the end, the most important consideration is really you and your partner’s comfort. If you’re up for it, then just go with the flow.

-Athena

“Ask the Thresher” is an advice column written twice a month, authored by two Thresher editorial staff members. Readers can email their letters to AskTheThresher@gmail.com or submit their questions through formspring at AskTheThresher.

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24 comments

Anonymous
Fri Apr 6 2012 13:45
Ares,

When I first read your response, I was immediately disgusted. Disgusted at your sexism and close-mindedness. I suggest you rethink your priorities before you insult most of the world by calling women impure and "really, really gross."

I'm ashamed that at Rice, this kind of opinion is accepted as publishable advice.

Anonymous
Fri Apr 6 2012 13:03
Ares, your answer is flat-out unprofessional and judgmental. If you're so disgusted by the idea of something like period sex (which is rather commonplace, believe it or not), you should not be answering any questions related to sex at all.
Thresher editors, I expect better of you.
Anonymous
Fri Apr 6 2012 12:46
Ares' answer suggests, very strongly, that he has mostly (if not exclusively) been having sex with his own hand--or that he is one of those permanently-closeted Christians who find themselves "inexplicably" repulsed by female anatomy. I would never sleep with someone who made me feel bad about being on my period, and as normal, non-squeamish dudes who just want to have sex are PRETTY common in this world, I don't think I'll ever have to slum it that far.
Anonymous
Thu Apr 5 2012 20:13
The asker cites Cosmo... so Ares responds with half his post citing the Bible? What? Yeah, yeah, there's a real human being behind Ares who is welcome to use whatever he wants to back up his answer, but it seems super out of place and irrelevant. However, the shaming of anyone who likes period sex at the end of his answer is completely unacceptable and unprofessional.

Also, a menstrual cup like DIvaCup or MoonCup will not work for sex, since they are held approximately where a tampon is held. SoftCups are supposedly ok for sex since they're more about covering the cervix, but in my experience with non-sex use are extremely uncomfortable. A cervical cap or diaphragm would help.

Communication is indeed essential in all sexual situations, not just regarding the red tide. In my experience, of ten guys who had the opportunity for period sex, only one refused. I find that it adds extra lubrication, heightened sensations, greater hormonal emotional connection, and it lets you have sex an extra 1/4 of the month! It's a natural and normal bodily function and, in my opinion, not at all disgusting, so if you're both ok with it, go for it!





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