So apparently the editors of the Thresher want me to let y'all know what I think of the restaurants I review in the first paragraph, so here's a skinny, low-fat, diet version of the whole thing: I love this place. Now, if you're happy with that 100-calorie, no-sugar-added review, you can stop reading here. If, however, you want to join me on this gluttonous, delectable and dramatic journey, feel free to follow along.
Okay, let's first get some administrative stuff out of the way. Biskit Junkie is a breakfast and brunch place located at 403 Westheimer in the Montrose neighborhood. Yes, you read that right, breakfast and brunch. That means that their operating hours are only 7:30 a.m. to 3:00 p.m., which also means that you're gonna have to find somewhere else to eat for Saturday dinner. The restaurant is also fairly inconspicuous. There is nothing overly flashy about its appearance and the physical building is small. Parking is a nightmare if you want to park in their lot, but there is abundant street parking just around the corner. Even so, bussing would be smart.
Once you enter Biskit Junkie, you immediately notice the hipster atmosphere. Well, it's a Southern kind of hipster.(As a native Seattlite, I need to make this distinction.) The tables are utilitarian yet chic, with multiple larger, elevated tables with bar stools for parties of six and above located in the center of the restaurant. After taking in the dimly lit atmosphere and American-flag-painted wall, you cannot help but notice there are no humans to take your order. No, this is not a futuristic robot joint from the 23rd century: There are still people who serve you, but they are relegated to bringing you your order and cleaning up the tables. Rather than having a waiter seat you or a cashier ring your order up, you choose what you want to eat and drink on a handy little tablet. One downside of this system is that Biskit Junkie only takes debit and credit cards, so if you are a cash-only person, tough luck.
Now comes the menu. And boy, is it just utterly scrumptious. Not only is there a wide selection of biscuits and biscuit sandwiches (which is kinda implied in the name), but there are burgers, various styles of eggs benedict, waffles, pancakes and french toast galore. Before ordering, I did an Instagram search of Biskit Junkie and could not help lusting after every single picture. If you don't know what food porn is, do a quick search and illuminate yourself. After being torn between my craving for blueberry waffles and the beauty of the chicken waffle stacks, which were hands-down the most Instagrammed offering, I ended up going for what should be Biskit Junkie's forte: their Hungry Man biscuit sandwich, which consisted of fried chicken, bacon, a slice of cheddar cheese and a generous helping of gravy on, you guessed it, a biscuit.
Now, the key to a successful biscuit is in the texture. It must be buttery and fluffy, yet flaky. I also prefer a savory biscuit, with more salt than the average person might like. In my (not so) humble opinion, Biskit Junkie NAILED the biscuit. It was buttery and had a very nice bite to it. I could chew it without feeling like I was eating tree resin. Furthermore, the biscuit complemented the fried chicken very well. The breading of the chicken was superb; it was crispy despite the copious amounts of gravy smothered over it. I could also definitely taste the peppercorn in the breading mix, giving a kick to an otherwise average, if not slightly bland chicken. However, the slight blandness of the chicken was perhaps the most I could find wrong with my dish. The bacon was crispy, as it should be. The cheddar was sharp (just the way I like it) and cut the buttery clouds of biscuit with ease. Lastly, even though the gravy appears to overwhelm the biscuit at first glance, it was the perfect. I found myself smothering every bite of biscuit, bacon, cheese and chicken with gravy, which perfected the dish's hearty nature. It was a homey and complete meal; I was transported to what I always imagined Paula Deen's kitchen would be like.
I enjoyed this foretaste of heaven for a very reasonable $9.47. Other items of note on the menu, such as their short ribs brioche sandwich, avocado toast eggs benedict and the aforementioned chicken waffle stacks, all run between $8 and $13, which I would say is fairly reasonable, especially since you're already combining two meals into one. My final conclusion: I think it would be hard for anyone not to get addicted to the food at Biskit Junkie, and I know that I certainly will be back in the near future.