News In Rhyme
International
Berlusconi offers resignation
Silvio Berlusconi survived many a lewd sex scandal and allegation
But alas he could not wither the debt crisis hitting the Euro nations
So to make sure creditors could trust the Italian government
And that he would not be the one to prevent the money from being lent
Good old Berlusconi who refused to surrender decided to offer to step down
And so Italy will lose its bellicose prime minister who recently became a clown
Silvio Berlusconi offered to resign in order to secure any potential bailout of Italy whose high debts are beginning to undermine its credit.
National
Rick Perry Forgetful
There once was a man named Rick Perry
Who during the debates was never merry
He wanted to cut government agencies
But he couldn't remember which three
And his embarrassing gaffe was in public for all to see
In Wednesday night's Residential Republican debate, Rick Perry said there were three government agencies he wanted to cut, but could not think of the third one. This embarrassment was just another in a slew of blunders threatening the viability of his presidential bid.
Annise Parker wins reelection
Annise Parker won her election for mayor of our town
But her margin of victory was deserving of pity
The Rice grad barely won more than half the vote
Against opposition of barely any note
But winning is winning as they say
And for two more years Parker is here to stay
Annise Parker won the mayoral election, but only by 51 percent, far lower then would be expected considering her incumbency and the lack of any strong opposition
More from The Rice Thresher
Jones wins men’s and women’s Beer Bike races, GSA snags alumni
Jones College won both the women’s and men’s Beer Bike 2024 races, while the Graduate Student Association claimed the alumni team win. Hanszen College bike teams were the runner-up in the alumni and men’s races, while Brown College was the runner-up in the women’s race. Martel and McMurtry Colleges did not bike in the alumni race, according to the Rice Program Council’s final report, and the GSA was disqualified from the men’s race for accidentally sending out two bikers simultaneously.
Rice wraps up Conversations on the Middle East series, looks to fall semester
With the final session rescheduled to Wednesday April 17, the Conversations on the Middle East series is coming to a close.
Rice SJP hosts protest in response to S.RES 02 tabling
Rice Students for Justice in Palestine staged a walkout and protest in response to the tabling of S.RES 02, a resolution that proposed a divestment of student funds to Israel-aligned companies, outside the Allen Center, April 12. The protest occurred during Owl Days, when prospective students were touring the campus.
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